-LRB- Parenting.com -RRB- -- One Mother 's Day , I bought my wife what she had wanted for years -- a weeping cherry tree -- and I threw in a bird bath , so that when the tree matures , our feathered friends can happily splash and drink under its loving protection .

Oh boy ! Another tie or pair of funny boxer shorts for Dad !

For Father 's Day , my wife gave me some boxer shorts and a tiny reading light , so I can flip through a book in bed without disturbing her .

My wife is the first to admit it : For her , and for many people , Father 's Day is an afterthought , a holiday just a few steps above the one that celebrates the groundhog and that other one that promotes trees .

If Mom 's Day and Dad 's Day were in a prize fight , we all know which holiday would wind up lying in the corner of the ring , knocked-out teeth on the mat , dazed head stuck in a bucket .

I 've been thinking about how our society recognizes parents because Father 's Day is upon us again , but also because , a while ago , my worst nightmare happened : My wife had to have surgery .

I was an emotional wreck . For a while , it was truly touch and go . Life hung in the balance , and everything near and dear to me seemed in doubt . Why ? Because while Susan recovered from her toe surgery , I had to take care of the kids . Parenting.com : Work/family balance harder for men ?

Sure , for a couple workdays I was able to call in reinforcements -LRB- my mom and mother-in-law -RRB- , but an entire weekend lay ahead in which I was to be the prime caregiver to Lorelei , who was just hitting 6 months , and Isabelle , our 3-year-old . Meanwhile , my wife was upstairs in our bed , on painkillers and armed with her cell phone so that I was always just a speed dial away from doing her bidding .

This would be a weekend in which I could n't do only the fun stuff -- like playing blocks and watching cartoons -- with the girls . I was obviously going to have to feed both of them -LRB- three times a day ! -RRB- , and I would have to tackle Herculean tasks like giving baths , changing all of the diapers , putting them both to bed , and even giving medicine to Lorelei , who had an ear infection .

Over the decades , standards for fathers have risen . If this were 1897 or even 1974 , I could have coasted through the weekend , serving potato chips and cold cereal to Isabelle , and I would have brought the girls to my wife 's bed for her to do the changing of the diapers . I could have skipped the baths . I could have ignored the dishes in the sink and the cat litter without a barrage of criticism .

As long as I managed to avoid the house catching on fire , and the girls did n't come down with malaria , at the end of the weekend , my family and friends would have laughed heartily at my mishaps , like they used to do in the last couple seconds of those 1970s and 1980s one-hour dramas -LRB- you know , after somebody made a joke and the shot went into freeze frame -RRB- . Then my family and friends would have declared that I had done my best , and nobody would have cared that the bar had been set so low that a chipmunk could have done as well . Parenting.com : His way can be better than yours

But today 's dads are different . We not only love our children , we 're acutely aware that we have a responsibility to be the best parents we can be . When it counts , I think most fathers really give it their all -- which explains why the Saturday night of my Mr. Mom weekend , instead of ordering pizza , I served Isabelle a chicken casserole with pineapple as a side dish . Do n't applaud -- the fruit came from a can , and the rest from a box with four steps . iReport.com : Share your best bonding moment with Dad

Still , I have to admit , I felt proud as the weekend wore on . I grew more confident in my parenting skills and even gave both girls a bath -- at the same time -- not once , but two nights in a row !

Just as I was ready to nominate myself for a Nobel Peace Prize , an Oscar , a Grammy -- surely I deserved some award -- I had an epiphany that brought me back down a few pegs . Parenting.com : Mommy skills that 'll work on husbands

I was fixing a French dish I like to call poisson et pommes frites -LRB- um , fish sticks and fries -RRB- , when I caught Anderson Cooper on CNN . He was in Baghdad , surrounded by American soldiers , saying he was exhausted and scared . Yet he warned the audience not to be too impressed with him . In a few days , he would fly home . The soldiers would remain at their posts .

Now , I 'm not comparing our girls to Iraqi insurgents , but I do appreciate more than ever that mothers are usually the soldiers in the parenting battlefield . Even full-time working moms do more child-rearing than us dads , studies have repeatedly found . Fathers tend to play the part of the dashing news reporter , swooping into parenting duties just long enough to get our hands dirty . My wife deserves her weeping cherry tree . And like most moms , she is worthy of much more .

Yet I think we dads merit at least a little more than boxer shorts , soap-on-a-rope , and neckties . We do n't get the good stuff because we 're paying for the sins of our fathers , and our fathers ' fathers . But these days , dads are changing diapers , warming bottles , and taking our kids to the park . We may not be where you want us yet , but we 've evolved , and we 're involved .

Just as much as the moms , we appreciate the cards , the praise , and being treated special on our day . So if any of you mothers now feel guilty enough to spring for a slightly nicer Father 's Day gift -- say , a plasma TV with a 50-inch screen -- make sure it also has built-in speakers with surround-sound .

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Writer believes Father 's Day is not as respected as Mother 's Day

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Says : We 're paying for the sins of our fathers , and our fathers ' fathers

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We deserve more than boxer shorts , soap-on-a-rope , and neckties

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Plasma TV with 50-inch screen , built-in surround-sound speakers would be nice